The Iyalode

On the 19th of January 2021, my father, Olajide Obasa bade this world farewell.

I remember the disbelief, the feeling of numbness, the denial. No one wishes a loved one to die, not even when the relationship hits a rough patch.

His death was especially difficult because he was healthy barely a week prior his demise. He drove himself out, to buy a meal, and couldn’t get back home by himself barely hours later.

I hoped like I never had…I ignited the faith fire the best way I could. But after a week of roller coaster experience of doing all we could to help him hang on to life while our society failed him, he breathed his last.

It is said that there are stages to grieving…I absolutely agree.

It is said that the pain gradually eases off and the weight in our hearts get lighter. I agree.

At the beginning, it’s difficult to come to terms with the loss, and it’s difficult to see how one would move past the death experience. But time is a magical concept, it wields such powers, and one of them is healing.

As we commemorate the second year of my father’s demise, I’ve come to the realization that one of the most important things in life is the memories we create. And this is so because it is what outlives us, and it is one of the things we have control over.

Everyone should strive hard, daily, to create beautiful memories with their loved ones, a brand that you would like the world to identify with when you are gone. Because when it’s all said and done, and ‘ashes to ashes’ tossed, what the living is left with are those memories.

Sleep on beloved, my father with whom I could express myself effortlessly and poke about even though the society kicked against such fluid father-daughter relationship. A man who was beautifully flawed and gave no damn about it. A man who understood the essence of enjoying life even in his ‘low estate’. An intelligent man who was vast in knowledge. A man who didn’t have so much material wealth but who would make his daughter proud even in death, more than while he lived. A man whose diligence and integrity gets eulogized even after he is gone. A man who struggled to build a name that opened doors even after his demise.

Sleep on, Olajide John Obasa.